My Problem

(try to read this like a poem on parts that might sound like they ryhm)Hey, its "ME" and this is my first blog, I midly get picked on but its not necesarily getting picked on becuase I have a high self asteem and fight back, like if someone bumbs me ill say something like, "Do it again and see what fucking happens" yada yada, what made me wana make this blog is I watched A really sad video that made me cry, I feel like I understand every inch of it becuase I have emotional problems, But I know I dont sense I dont get picked on the way they do, heres a link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY&list=UUKwpJb8i4HujUYCcHO29pAQ&index=2 just so you know, I started crying half way through this video and I have a small inspiration for poetry now, but thats becuase the effects of it are still on me, they will ware off, over time.... Anyways, My name is alexander Erden, I go to foothill middle school, I dislike school becuase I like to teach myself thing, but only things I want to know and learn, I dont want to be forced into learning something, I want to redo 7th grade currently, I dont like my dad that much and I want to move back to my previous place of witch I lived for 5/6 yeasr, I hate it here, but atleast im not a victim, that makes me feel better knowing that, after seeing that video, If I ever see someone bullying another, I will interfear, I have a youtube acc, "NeverEnoughMedia" and have bin told I have a brilliant mind, but I dont see it, hopelesly being told im stupid by my father, going to school and having teachers scold me, having problems with my brother, I liked it better where I was, but who do I tell, how do I tell, if I tell??? will someone tell my father, will they have too? will I upset him more than I oredy do. I just want a way out of here and back to where I was, but theres no escape, It helps me to think about people in worse situations, but I was born to take what I have for granit, its not my fault, for some reason I cant give a shit for those peope unless Im by it, witnessing it, watching or hearing it, they too have no escape, but in a different way, I want to know more, be older, where I cant join into "Adult" conversations, I know alota things, but want to know more, I want to grow up and feel older, but my dad ses, "be young while you can", what does he know, he doesnt understand, I know his past, its not like mine, Im not like him, father like son cant be true, for me.. atleast? I once in my life tried to commit suicide overdosing, it only kinda effect me for the next 2 weeks, know what knows, how am I suppose to tell someone, I say I have emotional problems, but know what understands What I mean, I want to get it off my chest that I tried and failed, but I cant, Not enough courage, it was awhile ago, ive bin holding it in for awhile now, but how do I get it out, to how, when I say? will the person tell my family???? Or would they be a good friend and keep it too them selfs, would they tell the whole school and id start getting picked on, getting called suicide boy or something, cause I dont want that to happen, but for now, On my lunch days, at school, Im going to spend my day, finding others around me, and helping them, rather then helping myself, becuase there in a worse situation then me, that could wreck there lifes, so could mine, but not as bad.